Scary Movie 5
Scary Movie 5 is a 2013 American horror comedy film and the fifth and final installment in the Scary Movie franchise. It is the second film to be distributed by The Weinstein Company under the Dimension Films brand. The film is directed by Malcolm D. Lee and written by David Zucker and Pat Proft. It is the only installment of the franchise not to feature Cindy Campbell or Brenda Meeks due to the end of their storyline in Scary Movie 4. Plot Charlie Sanders and Lindsay Lohan get together to make a sex tape with over 20 cameras beside Charlies's bed. The time-lapsed tape fast forwards through the two doing all sorts of bedroom antics, including gymnastics, riding a horse, and having clowns jump in under the sheets. Charlie is pulled into the air by a paranormal force and thrown against walls, shelves, and doors until he lands on the bed again. Lohan is frightened so she decides to go home when she flies into the air as well; she becomes possessed and throws Charlie into the camera and kills him. The text explains that his body was found that day but he didn't stop partying until days later, and that his three kids were found missing, Lohan was arrested, again, and a reward was put out for the missing children. Several months later, Ja'Marcus and D'Andre are walking in the Humboldt County woods in California in search of cannabis plants to steal. After stealing one and fleeing, they take shelter in a cabin in the woods. Upon entering they see three strange creatures, later confirmed to be Charlie's children, and turn them in for the reward. The feral children are placed in isolation at a child development research center for a few months until they are deemed well enough to be returned to familial custody. When Charlie's brother, Dan Sanders and his wife Jody come to collect them, they are told they can have them if they agree to stay in a large suburban middle-class home fitted with security cameras. Jody is reluctant to take the kids at first but soon adjusts to having them. In an attempt to bond with their new children, Jody auditions for a ballet performance, Swan Lake, and is cast in the lead role as the Swan Queen. Meanwhile, a continuing pattern of bizarre paranormal activity in their new home makes them investigate further. They eventually learn from the children that the attacks on their home are by "Mama", the mother of the children, who is under a curse and is trying to get them back so she can sacrifice both herself and the children. Maria, the couple's Hispanic live-in maid, is frightened and keeps experimenting with various rituals, Catholic and otherwise, to ward off the evil spirits in the house. During the day, Dan is frustrated with the modest progress of his test subjects at a primate intelligence research facility; ironically, Dan is not bright enough to realize that one of the chimpanzees, Caesar, is now actually much smarter than he is. Jody and Dan, with the help of Jody's close friend Kendra Brooks, who Jody met at her ballet class, must quickly find a way to lift the curse and save their family. Along the way, they seek the assistance of psychic Blaine Fulda, who turns out to be a complete fraud, and a dream extractor named Dom Kolb, who helps them understand that the solution to their problems lies in the mysterious Book of the Evil. However, Jody and Kendra fail to see what the book is capable of, oblivious to four friends continuously becoming possessed and reviving in the cabin. They wreak havoc when either of the two read the two passages of the book; one that unleashes demons, "gort klaatu barada nikto", and the other that revives them from possession. When "Mama" takes the children to a cliff to sacrifice them, Jody fails to lift the curse with the book, but does manage to knock the evil spirit into Ja'Marcus and D'Andre's pool containing a live shark, which then devours her. Realizing the love for her adopted children is all she needs in life, Jody gives the part of the Swan Queen to Kendra, who performs the dance in the style of a stripper. The performance is heavily applauded by an audience that includes Jody, Dan, the children, and Madea. The story's narrator is revealed to be Caesar, who then informs the audience that the humans should enjoy the time they have on earth and says that apes will one day take over the world. Cast * Ashley Tisdale as Jody Sanders * Simon Rex as Dan Sanders * Erica Ash as Kendra Brooks * Lidia Porto as Maria * Gracie Whitton as Kathy Sanders * Ava Kolker as Lily Sanders * Dylan Morris as Aiden Sanders * Ryan Morris as Aiden Sanders * Charlie Sheen as Himself * Lindsay Lohan as Herself * Katrina Bowden as Natalie * Terry Crews as Martin * Jasmine Guy as Mrs. Brooks * Darrell Hammond as Dr. Hall * Sarah Hyland as Mia * Heather Locklear as Barbara * J. P. Manoux as Pierre * Mac Miller as D'Andre * Snoop Dogg as Ja'Marcus * Shad Moss as Eric * Jerry O'Connell as Christian Grey * Tyler Posey as David * Molly Shannon as Heather Darcy * Mike Tyson as Himself * Usher as Ira * Kate Walsh as Mal Colb * Katt Williams as Blaine Fulda * Lil Duval as Kendra's Brother * Angie Stone as Kendra's Cousin * Lewis Thompson as Madea * Big Ang as Herself * Josh Robert Thompson as Narrator Trivia * The only film in the series to not be filmed in Vancouver, Canada. * The producers had to approach the Evil Dead script and spoof the trailer because the film was released only one week before this film. * Ashley Tisdale took ballet exercises to prepare for her role in this movie. * This was the longest break in the release of "Scary Movie" films, at almost seven years. * The film was originally supposed to spoof Scream 4. Parodies * Paranormal Activity: The surveillance camera gimmick and creepy nighttime occurrences in PA are heavily parodied. In the opening scene, Charlie is filming a sex tape with Lindsay Lohan and has a few dozen cameras trained on the bed. Later, Jody and Dan toss and turn to an absurd degree, mocking the less absurd but still pretty impressive tossing and turning in PA. * Cabin in the Woods and Evil Dead: These two are simultaneously mocked with a cabin, which is in the woods, and a haunted book of ancient spells in the cabin's basement. Cabin in the Woods gets name-checked by Mac Miller while a few shots and minor characters from Evil Dead are visually referenced. * Mama: A surprising amount from this movie, which came out in January, shows up in Scary Movie 5. There are the feral little girls, their punk-rock caretaker, and the presence of the ominous "Mama." The whole climax is based on Mama, with Judy fighting the ghostly matriarch of the creepy kid clan as she tries to throw them off a cliff. * Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Dan works at a primate research facility where he's trying to make apes smarter. It's working with one ape named Caesar, who Dan takes home. This Caesar is smarter than the one in the real Apes, but less intent on freedom. * Black Swan: Judy is a ballerina and she tries out for a local production of Swan Lake, which leads to a big parody of Black Swan. Her rival is black, which means she dances like a stripper and a girl in a rap video. The aging ballerina played by Winona Ryder in the Aronofsky film is here played by Molly Shannon. * Diary of a Mad Black Woman: Madea is briefly seen in the audience watching Swan Lake. She disapproves of the black black swan's suggestive dance moves. * Royal Wedding: At one point during ballet practice, someone mentions the janitor dancing. Cut to janitor Ira dancing with his mop like he's Fred Astaire. * Inception and Fifty Shades of Grey: After one of the little girls mentions that she sees Mama in her dreams, Judy calls in a DiCaprio look-alike to perform an inception. The café scene is mocked, Judy has a dream about Fifty Shades of Grey, and the dog hooks himself up to the inception machine to reveal his dream about humping poodles.